I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
