I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
