Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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