so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
