my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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