Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
