Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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