grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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