So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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