Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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