i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I am naked and annoyed.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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