YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
