Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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