Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he fucked my hip out of place.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
