Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Randomize
