im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
