sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
