It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You were trust falling into bushes
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize