Tell her she can't have a vagina
Quick, to the slutcave!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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