this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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