My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
