so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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