how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
