My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
