well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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