i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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