Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
