hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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