bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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