Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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