We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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