so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
