just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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