Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
