We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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