I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm passing your future prison.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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