A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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