I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he told me I talked like a deaf person
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
