Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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