Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
