Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just cropdusted the office
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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