i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize