Jerry, you need to find god
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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