Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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