My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
