wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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