Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
where does the pee come out of this thing
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
