I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
be right there i have to get my cape
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
