And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
