Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
