She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
