her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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