susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
