HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
