all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
