I feel like I'm in dance class right now
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
