He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
