I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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