ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
