just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
