And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize