I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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