So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
