When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
