I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
That's when you crack a 10am beer
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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