Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
