Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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