I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
