What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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