i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
pop tarts are not kleenex
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize