Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
