i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
