Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
