i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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